my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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