one two three fourrrrnication!
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
