mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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