mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
