I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
