I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
