Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Ladies don't puke and tell
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
