my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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