OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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