You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
