Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
