All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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