I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize