considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
