she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
