yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
