Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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