Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
