party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
