I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
