I am puke
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
