Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Blood and glitter go together right?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
