I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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