So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
