Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
