There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
