would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
