Just fell off a train. Bad.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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