Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
It's just like the Real World with babies
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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