fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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