Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
