Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
