not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
