But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
