There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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