Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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