Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
