Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
