I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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