there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Randomize
