are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
