I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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