I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
