Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
