It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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