First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
