Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
