if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
