Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
