Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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