saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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