There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
